– I sit down on the subway. A man across from me gestures to his friend to look at me. He then starts to suck his teeth, click his tongue, make kissey-noises, and whistle in an attempt to get my eye contact. When I look at him, he licks his lips and leers at me. I avoid his sight. He stands, and I think he’s going to get off. Instead he slowly walks closer. I look around hoping to make a silent ally in case I need help. No one is looking. I wish I hadn’t left my mace in my backpack at home. He stares some more. Eventually gets off at the next stop.
– I make a post on Facebook related to the above incident. A high school acquaintance messages me privately. He says, “The train guy is a douche, and his punishment is that he doesn’t get to tap into the beauty that is the feminine divine.” And that I should, “focus on developing [my] own communication skills.” He also recommends “going to an orgasmic meditation class and investigate tapping into your feminine power.” I respond respectfully and offer him my feelings that his suggested “punishment” is not enough, that you cannot explain away or justify bad behavior by saying the aggressor won’t live a “full” life. That what women need is not to be told to take classes to tap into our feminine power, but men in our lives who listen and understand and take action. He responds again and says I should look into the classes before “being so dismissive.” He also suggests the name of a YouTube orgasmic meditation instructor, and asks me if I told the man on the train that he was making me uncomfortable. He says the man’s goal was to be happy, and that his intentions were to create the start of a relationship with me. That he agrees he went about it the wrong way, but that “all roads are paved with good intentions.” He assures me that the man leads a miserable life, and then says –
“I would suggest that perhaps you, yourself are not appreciating how wonderful women can be if you don’t think that’s punishment enough.” See images below.